Silence Speaks

April 1, 2014

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Words are such powerful things. They mean absolutely nothing until we put our intentions behind them and then they carry on their shoulders all the meanings of the world. Words, though, are often used with shallow intentions. It’s as if we talk just to hear the sound of our voices so that we might not feel so alone, but we still feel alone. Why do we still feel so alone? Why aren’t our voices company enough? Why do we still crave the companionship of others even in a room of many from which to choose from? What is it that we crave? People? Voices? Words? Meaning? There can be so much more meaning in mutual silence than there ever could be in shallow conversation. Why then do we shy away from silence? Why do we fill the spaces in between conversation with tension and anxiety and meatless filler?

Perhaps if we could only embrace one another’s silence and exist together in silence for just tiny splinters of time then we might not feel so alone and words once shallow would in time regain their depth. When words lose their meaning then so, too, do our lives. Only in silence do we regain our depth.

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If I ever get from here to there, it’ll be by the grace of God. I’m living a miracle and I thank God for that everyday. The age old philosophical inquiry goes, is the glass half full or half empty? Neither. My glass is twice as big as it need be.

Even so, I have my struggles. Loneliness being a big one. I’m used to it. At times, I even prefer it, but not all the time. I feel torn between many worlds. I’m not yet sure which world to call my home. Maybe my home is not meant to be of this world.

Who am I? Am I Mexican American or just American? Am I a signing Deaf or an oral deaf? Am I Protestant or am I Catholic? Am I a writer or an empath? Do I exist to see, smell, taste, touch, love, ponder and connect with others or is it because I do these things that I exist?

Who am I?

I wonder, will a time come when I learn to embrace the silence that envelopes my existence, not because my earthly ears cannot hear the voices surrounding me, but because my Divine Mentor has enabled me to leave them speechless?

Will that day come? Will I one day understand why God decided it was not in His will to have me hear the voices of this world? Could it be that it was His voice I was to focus on all along?

Who am I?

Street Missionary

February 10, 2013

I took a visit to the ER last night. I was hit by a car the night before and wanted to make sure I’m alright. I’m a little sore, but okay.

I saw a pregnant woman crying in the waiting room. Not one to mind my own business, I approached her with my pen and pad. “What’s wrong, hun?” I scribed.

In that small piece of time, I single handedly broke down the wall between silence and sound; deaf and hearing. I did what I couldn’t and by the time I had left, her tears had become smiles.

I had won over deafness and reached over the borders of ability to touch another life.

I won. . .

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