Whatever State I be in

November 23, 2011

I wouldn’t have chosen this life. That’s one of only a few statements I can make with absolute certainty. The life God gave to me is not what I would have chosen for myself. Even with all that I know now, I would have chosen not to wander along the road less taken. I would have chosen the easier life where I would never witness my father in tears over my hospital bed. Where I would never know the intense pain of seeing my mother break down as I screamed at God in angry, bitter sobs. I would have chosen in a heartbeat to walk the path where I never once felt that I was not allowed to dream. How many times I screamed at God in bitter curses for not allowing me the privilege to dream. I felt less than human. Not worthy of anything but extraordinary and unbearable pain.

That’s why I’m most grateful that God did not give me what I wanted. Instead he gave to me and will continue to give to me what I need. I wouldn’t be fit for God’s plans for me had I not seen what is painful to see. Some people get to pick their destiny. I wasn’t given that privilege, for I was born into mine.

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One Response to “Whatever State I be in”

  1. Jahin Torres said

    God did know what you were going to do; and you are awaking souls from dying out of conciousness.

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